just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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