So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
