I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
