i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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