Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
