You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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