yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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