vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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