i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
