Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
