just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
