i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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