Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
