Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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