i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
