i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
