porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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