i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
