i just wanna soil my oats bro
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
