I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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