He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
