i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
