Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize