maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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