Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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