i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
