Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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