You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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