Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
