tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
a search helicopter?!
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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