if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Enjoy the penises
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize