he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
