He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
