Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
