Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
