Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
you are never too drunk for berry picking
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
The adults are the big ones right?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
