Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
