Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
