My brain says no but my pants say off.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
is it fun? or sober?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
