Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
