Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
barbara walters just said penis...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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