Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
