Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
