Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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