nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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