woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
