So drunk its hurt
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
