It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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