Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
