you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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