margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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