not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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