It's like God shit irony all over that family
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
