OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
