you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
ttyl tear gas
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
