so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I have aggressive nipples.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
