Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize