Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
