Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
