He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He shit in the fireplace
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
