I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
