it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
