Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
