Already got asked if we're dating
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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