guys are not supposed to queef...right?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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