I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
