I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just forgot I was standing up.
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