if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
