so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
