I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
so that wasnt chicken after all
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
