I'm lost and stupid without you.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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