all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
