I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
